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Showing posts with the label pet humor

7 Dangerous Human Foods You Must Never Feed Your Dog

7 Dangerous Human Foods You Must Never Feed Your Dog There's a moment in almost every kitchen I know. You're eating something good, the dog appears out of nowhere, and you break off a piece. Just a small piece. You're already saying "that's okay, right?" That's the part that keeps me up at night. Not the chewing. Not the begging. The "right?" Because here's what I've learned after years of owning dogs and eventually having a conversation with a vet that changed how I think about this: the scary part isn't that these foods are dangerous. It's that most of them are foods we have eaten our whole lives and never once questioned. Grapes. A slice of onion on the pizza. Peanut butter. We are not suspicious of them, so we never look them up. So let me save you the vet bill I'm still paying off. Chocolate: The One Everyone Knows, and the One We Still Get Wrong You already know about this one. So I'll skip the lecture and go straig...
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Before vs. After Getting a Dog — The Gap Is Absolutely Unhinged

Before vs. After Getting a Dog — The Gap Is Absolutely Unhinged I used to be a rational person. Then I adopted a dog. Now I occupy 18% of my own bed and I have no regrets. I want to issue a formal warning to anyone thinking about getting a dog. Not a "don't do it" warning. More of a "you will not recognize yourself in six months and somehow be completely fine with that" warning. Let me show you what I mean. The bed situation Before After The bed is mine. Queen-sized. All of it. I sleep in the middle like a starfish. It's glorious. I occupy 18% of the bed . My dog is spread across the rest in what I can only describe as a power pose. I sleep on the edge like I'm about to fall off a cliff. I do not move him. He weighs thirty pounds. I weigh six times that. And yet. Leaving the house Before After Grab keys. Walk out. Done. Forty seconds, tops. Step 1: put on shoes. He sits by the door, staring. Step 2: explain where I'm going . Step 3: he whines. Step 4...
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